Modesty as politeness

I think one important matter about modesty that people do not bring up much is that a breach of modesty (if it does really occur, I have my doubts) is not immoral, it is a breach of etiquette. That is, in almost all cases, at worst, impolite. Unfortunately, and I say this as a big fan of Miss Manners and etiquette in general even if I may at times ignore it, the dictates of polite society weigh more heavily on women than on men.

The panheretic's guide to dealing with women

Somebody asked a modesty-related question on some web board and, though it turned out the guy was not Orthodox and possibly a troll, it did raise some questions about why some guys think it's their responsibility or at least prerogative in relationships to tell women how to dress. One of the reasons, of course, is patriarchy. However, not everybody who reads this web-log is as much of a misandrist as I am, so that may not go down well. Another reason, of course, is narcissism. Unfortunately, I don't really have the cure for the soul. However, another reason is that a lot of these guys are well-meaning, nice guys who just haven't had much experience dealing with women and realizing the sort of crap they have to deal with. Therefore, they think they're being helpful. With that in mind, I will offer you some helpful things I have learned (and I am very willing to add more things to this list - I'm just banging this out quickly) in the hopes that well-meaning young men don't do something utterly stupid and self-absorbed like try to control how their female friends dress and otherwise interact with women appropriately.

1. Women are people, too. The fundamental axiom here is that women are human beings. You do not know better than them simply by virtue of being male. Since they are human beings (just like you!), they have probably thought about things before, have their own unique perspective and opinions, and generally are in charge of their own lives.

2. I really don't have a #2.