Pros and cons of real English vs Hieratic English

I have at time written about the "Thou (Hieratic English)" vs "You (actual English)" distinction. Here I summarize what, exactly, is at stake.

Pros of Hieratic English

• Saying, "Do Thou Thyself," makes you sound wicked awesome.
  
• Fits better with the LARPodox theme.
  
• It was good enough for Moses.
  
• Retains at least a little bit of the unintelligibility of the original languages.
  

Cons of Hieratic English

• 
  
• Harder to read with a fake Russian accent.
  
• Holpen the conies.
  
• Have to remember the "ye" vs "you" distinction.
  

Pros of Actual English

• Easier to improvise your own versions of the Psalms.
  
• Can still have the complete awkwardness if desired by Yoda-fying the text. "Swallowed up near by the rock have their judges been!"
  
• Annoys "traditionalists".
  
• Modern translations of the Bible include references to pogs.
  

Cons of Actual English

• People might actually understand the Bible and therefore become Protestant.
  
• It is a sure sign of Renovationism, Panheretical Ecumenism, the Feminist Intention, and the Homosexual Agenda, all bound in fine leather. This might need to be a "Pro" because of the leather binding.
  
• Nobody has ever translated anything into actual English.
  
• Using "you" forces the translator to use swears, colloquialisms, and the word "ain't".
  

Pros and cons of pews vs open floor plans.

Pros of pews:

• Imparts a rigid, ordered structure on the temple like the celestial hierarchy in Pseudo-Dionysius.
  
• Awkward, sideways prostrations are very humbling.
  
• Children more completely confined so church not mistaken for fun.
  
• Annoy "traditionalists".
  

Cons of pews:

• Are you ready for a toaca solo?
  
• Hard to catch a good nap.
  
• Can't be sure the church still doesn't belong to Protestants.
  
• Might have to sit next to somebody some day.
  
• EDIT: No escape from the Holy Handshake (not that there's anything wrong with that).
  

Pros of an open floor plan:

• Accentuates how utterly empty the space is.
  
• Children can get a good running start for the Royal Doors or at least the candle stands.
  
• Less wood-polishing.
  
• Services 16% more holy.
  

Cons of an open floor plan:

• Extremely awkward to pick out a place to stand with no reference to anchor to.
  
• The "getting out of the way of the censer" dance demeans us both.
  
• "Traditionalists" like it.
  
• Some other unfortunate church bought your pews.