Pros and cons of real English vs Hieratic English

I have at time written about the "Thou (Hieratic English)" vs "You (actual English)" distinction. Here I summarize what, exactly, is at stake.

Pros of Hieratic English

• Saying, "Do Thou Thyself," makes you sound wicked awesome.
  
• Fits better with the LARPodox theme.
  
• It was good enough for Moses.
  
• Retains at least a little bit of the unintelligibility of the original languages.
  

Cons of Hieratic English

• 
  
• Harder to read with a fake Russian accent.
  
• Holpen the conies.
  
• Have to remember the "ye" vs "you" distinction.
  

Pros of Actual English

• Easier to improvise your own versions of the Psalms.
  
• Can still have the complete awkwardness if desired by Yoda-fying the text. "Swallowed up near by the rock have their judges been!"
  
• Annoys "traditionalists".
  
• Modern translations of the Bible include references to pogs.
  

Cons of Actual English

• People might actually understand the Bible and therefore become Protestant.
  
• It is a sure sign of Renovationism, Panheretical Ecumenism, the Feminist Intention, and the Homosexual Agenda, all bound in fine leather. This might need to be a "Pro" because of the leather binding.
  
• Nobody has ever translated anything into actual English.
  
• Using "you" forces the translator to use swears, colloquialisms, and the word "ain't".