Modesty as politeness

I think one important matter about modesty that people do not bring up much is that a breach of modesty (if it does really occur, I have my doubts) is not immoral, it is a breach of etiquette. That is, in almost all cases, at worst, impolite. Unfortunately, and I say this as a big fan of Miss Manners and etiquette in general even if I may at times ignore it, the dictates of polite society weigh more heavily on women than on men.

The panheretic's guide to dealing with women

Somebody asked a modesty-related question on some web board and, though it turned out the guy was not Orthodox and possibly a troll, it did raise some questions about why some guys think it's their responsibility or at least prerogative in relationships to tell women how to dress. One of the reasons, of course, is patriarchy. However, not everybody who reads this web-log is as much of a misandrist as I am, so that may not go down well. Another reason, of course, is narcissism. Unfortunately, I don't really have the cure for the soul. However, another reason is that a lot of these guys are well-meaning, nice guys who just haven't had much experience dealing with women and realizing the sort of crap they have to deal with. Therefore, they think they're being helpful. With that in mind, I will offer you some helpful things I have learned (and I am very willing to add more things to this list - I'm just banging this out quickly) in the hopes that well-meaning young men don't do something utterly stupid and self-absorbed like try to control how their female friends dress and otherwise interact with women appropriately.

1. Women are people, too. The fundamental axiom here is that women are human beings. You do not know better than them simply by virtue of being male. Since they are human beings (just like you!), they have probably thought about things before, have their own unique perspective and opinions, and generally are in charge of their own lives.

2. I really don't have a #2.

Two worthwhile posts about the craft of Orthodox church music

I've had to, over the past 18 months, put in a fair bit of thought about doing Orthodox church music. The last 18 months has been having to deal in various ways with the musical situation at a new OCA mission, with the first 15 months of it having nobody nominally in charge and the last 3 or so months with me as the "choir director". Prior to this, I had spent the last 10 years in a couple missions which, while they may had had, at times, a difficult musical situation, they always had somebody else in charge and, I would like to think, some vision of musical excellence in mind that somebody else was thinking of. Generally, I flitted in and out of the choir as needed, generally being in the choir (or being the choir) for ferial services and not in it on Sundays. And then a year in a Greek church which had its own set of challenges, but I didn't think about them at all: it's Greek music, I have no idea what's going on, and there were a load of difficulties there that I didn't want to deal with at all. Namely, they were, as far as I can tell, trying to get the choir running and encourage more congregational participation. For my part, I sung in the choir.

Anyway, there are two articles, the first from Richard Barrett about how to improve as an Orthodox church musician. Perhaps the first and most important point is that Orthodox musicians need to exist, as music is an important and primary part of our worship rather than an afterthought. Further, they need to work on getting better. To do that, parishes need to invest in making it happen. There surely is a question about what and how much they need to invest, and there are plenty of other things they may be underinvesting in, but if they're making cuts, they need to be done consciously with a plan to rectify them.

Another along that theme, on the need to pay choir directors and church musicians in general from Benedict Sheehan. Now, mind you, I'm not agitating to be paid here, as I'm not a real musician, and I don't even really conduct - I suggest music that gets rejected by the priest and I suggest pitches that get rejected by the sopranos. We're a small mission and not really paying for anything right now. But it is something to be mindful of as things grow: investment in music is necessary, as necessary as investing in icons and in paying the priest.

A third article as a bonus, also from Barrett (can you guess one of the people I've been relying on to help guide my thought on church music? not exclusively, though, as I'm emphatically not a Byzantine chant guy): Psalterion as Pulpit.

Pros and cons of real English vs Hieratic English

I have at time written about the "Thou (Hieratic English)" vs "You (actual English)" distinction. Here I summarize what, exactly, is at stake.

Pros of Hieratic English

• Saying, "Do Thou Thyself," makes you sound wicked awesome.
  
• Fits better with the LARPodox theme.
  
• It was good enough for Moses.
  
• Retains at least a little bit of the unintelligibility of the original languages.
  

Cons of Hieratic English

• 
  
• Harder to read with a fake Russian accent.
  
• Holpen the conies.
  
• Have to remember the "ye" vs "you" distinction.
  

Pros of Actual English

• Easier to improvise your own versions of the Psalms.
  
• Can still have the complete awkwardness if desired by Yoda-fying the text. "Swallowed up near by the rock have their judges been!"
  
• Annoys "traditionalists".
  
• Modern translations of the Bible include references to pogs.
  

Cons of Actual English

• People might actually understand the Bible and therefore become Protestant.
  
• It is a sure sign of Renovationism, Panheretical Ecumenism, the Feminist Intention, and the Homosexual Agenda, all bound in fine leather. This might need to be a "Pro" because of the leather binding.
  
• Nobody has ever translated anything into actual English.
  
• Using "you" forces the translator to use swears, colloquialisms, and the word "ain't".
  

Pros and cons of pews vs open floor plans.

Pros of pews:

• Imparts a rigid, ordered structure on the temple like the celestial hierarchy in Pseudo-Dionysius.
  
• Awkward, sideways prostrations are very humbling.
  
• Children more completely confined so church not mistaken for fun.
  
• Annoy "traditionalists".
  

Cons of pews:

• Are you ready for a toaca solo?
  
• Hard to catch a good nap.
  
• Can't be sure the church still doesn't belong to Protestants.
  
• Might have to sit next to somebody some day.
  
• EDIT: No escape from the Holy Handshake (not that there's anything wrong with that).
  

Pros of an open floor plan:

• Accentuates how utterly empty the space is.
  
• Children can get a good running start for the Royal Doors or at least the candle stands.
  
• Less wood-polishing.
  
• Services 16% more holy.
  

Cons of an open floor plan:

• Extremely awkward to pick out a place to stand with no reference to anchor to.
  
• The "getting out of the way of the censer" dance demeans us both.
  
• "Traditionalists" like it.
  
• Some other unfortunate church bought your pews.
  

2015 predictions

I made some predictions last year. I should make some this year. It's a little late, but I will do it.

1. Cubs: between 75 and 80 wins. Not sure why.
   
2. Bitcoin: will become more of a joke. Prices frequently below $200.
   
3. Keystone won't get through.
   
4. Congress and the American people still won't believe in global warming. I am not going to varnish this: they are idiots.
   
5. We've already had that measles outbreak. Maybe one more major vaccine-preventable disease outbreak. Alas, I don't think it will change minds. More idiots. I realize that is a harsh word to use, but it fits.
   
6. Saudi Arabia will continue to pump oil at least until July, therefore continued gas prices of near $2 at least until July. No guesses longer term than that. I'll say less than $2.50 at year-end.
   
7. Conservatives won't be happy, but gay marriage is going to win when it comes up in the Supreme Court. I don't think it'll make the other side completely happy, though, not being a law-talking guy, I'm not capable of having an intelligent made-up guess about how they're going to get mucked up.
   

In conclusion, the evidence is overwhelming: the climate is changing and the world is getting warmer because of human activity and this is going to have a lot of bad consequences that we should work to prevent and mitigate now, and vaccination is a very good thing and you should do it and encourage others to do it.