More amusing internet drama: CrossFit(TM).

This is not related to the OCA, it's related to something I don't care about, either, except as an example of corporate "douchenfreude". But, it is amusing. Don't bother looking at any of the links if you're not interested in reading Cracked.com-style web-logs about some company you don't care about and how that company cracked down on them.

Here's a TL: DR for those who don't want to read (really, I don't blame you, you shouldn't read this): CrossFit, Inc. sends anonymous threats to the employers of individuals who make fun of it in an attempt to intimidate them.

Some background: CrossFit (TM) is like the exercise equivalent of Scientology. It is an international corporation with franchises around the world, but mostly in yuppie parts of America where they charge on the order of $150/month for their fitness classes. They run an annual fitness competition called the Reebok CrossFit Games (TM) (guess who their corporate sponsor is). It's kind of like the "world series of exercise" or something. They're kind of like Zumba, except competitive. Not my cup of tea, I'm more a fan of picking up heavy things and putting them down, so I don't really know anything about them.

Some of their fans have sarcastic web pages about the company. Now, if CrossFit, Inc. does not like the sarcastic web page and the sarcastic web page uses the CrossFit name in its web address, especially if they sell crap on their page, they can and will threaten legal action to cripple it and maybe get it shut down. See, for instance, The Naked CrossFitter. I don't expect you to care about that. It's just context.

However, what can they do if a page makes merciless fun of the CrossFit brand (the brand is the only product CrossFit, Inc. sells), but did not make the rookie mistake of using the CrossFit name in its title or address? If they don't have the threat of legal action available to them, what can they do? Well, they can find out your real name, find out where you work, print off a bunch of crap from your web-log, and send it anonymously through the mail to some senior people in your company in the hopes that something will happen. That sounds crazy, but the internet is serious business. BeastModalDomains alleges that this is what happened to him - maybe it wasn't CrossFit, Inc., but it was somebody, and that is why he is killing his BeastModalDomains web-log. This isn't a grave tragedy, but it's the sort of amusing thing CrossFit does every once in a while that keeps me listening at the ground for their latest bit of zaniness.

So, just as an FYI: CrossFit, Inc. sends anonymous threats to the employers of individuals who make fun of it in an attempt to intimidate them. He doesn't even work for a fitness company, he's some corporate schmuck!

Explanation of previous post

Some of my regular readers may be wondering why I took a break from my regularly scheduled programming to discuss how Reebok hates children.

The source of the image is CrossFit Apex. Apparently one of their trainers thought it was a cool thing to do and then crossfit.com, the owner of the brand name, posted a link to it, presumably because they thought it was cool. I don't think it's cool. CrossFit.com has recently entered into a partnership with Reebok (note the banner) and I don't think Reebok thinks it's cool. So I encourage people to write to Reebok (corporate@reebok.com) and let them know what they're supporting. Legitimate lulz involved.

CrossFit.com is, of course, a bit of a joke to thinking people because of their pompous rhetoric¹, general douchebaggery, cult-like followers, and inevitable results (injuries, burnout, subpar performance). Take, for instance, an amusing take-down of their pompous claims that "We got the science" and it will "dwarf anything ever conceived of in Framingham or Harvard Nurses". LOLWHAT.

Anyway, so I posted that for my own personal amusement. Perhaps it will ruin somebody's day. But it will make so many other people's days so much better because a reckless and dangerous corporation may lose some marketing dollars or be recognized as the purveyors of batty insanity that they are.

NOTE: CrossFit.com originally had a link to the guy's website on that page. They also said that they don't "unpublish", so they would keep the picture up. However, they've taken down the link, which is why I provided a link to http://www.crossfitapex.com.

1: This does not need a footnote, really, but here's a canonical quote demonstrating their self-delusion: "We can take you from a 200-pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year." No, they can't.

EDIT: This is rather amusing, more amusing if you're familiar with the dysfunctional circus that is CrossFit (which I barely am, mostly out of a mild curiosity toward them not unlike my mild curiosity about anti-vaccine advocates, Mercola followers, 9/11 Truthers, etc): http://www.forgingelitesarcasm.com/2011/08/babies-need-to-harden-the-fuck-up-2.html

Reebok hates babies.

Reebok hates babies. This patently unsafe image is proof.

Reebok hates children. Just FYI. Reebok encourages patently unsafe behavior. Reebok is bad for children.